Are you using your imagination enough?

Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions. 
~ Albert Einstein

How often to we allow our imagination to lead us? Not very often, I would submit, we usually have one reason or another not to do something.  A shame...imagination can open up doors for us like none other. Perhaps we can give ourselves a chance and let imagination "talk to us" a bit more? How far out of the box will that take us?

The Paradox of Wealth

"We may have money but little time. We may have time but no money. We may have love but neither time nor money. Coming to a point of balance between these factors is mastery of the art of living which is true wealth.
from: Americ Azevedo at the University of California, Berkeley

I think that one of the biggest mistakes a person can make in life is mistaking wealth for money. Money helps, money is necessary in our society, money can save a life and can make a dream. Money can also drive you insane with greed, depression and addiction.

The art of living is not the art of money. The art of living is to know and live by your values and allow for money to help you along the way.

Now about those plans…

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.

~ Mike Tyson

You or may not remember Mike Tyson, one of the greatest boxers in modern times, and also convicted rapist, an overwhelming figure who could knock anybody out including himself- biting the ear of the person he was boxing, nearly dying from alcoholism, violence and who knows what else.

Tyson is not your typical guru, professor, new age author, nothing of the sort, but a man who has battled his entire life with everything around him, most notably himself.

Sometimes I like listening to people like this. There are few filters with them, little sophistication, simple words talking about simple things. Simple things which are also very difficult.

We all have plans and we all need them. We all have words and we all need them. But when the plans don't work and the words can't be found- what happens to you then? Where to you go from there? Where do we look from there?

Can one help a person who doesn't want to be helped?

A recent mastermind meeting found us discussing a more personal matter that also connected up with the business world. 
A mastermind member shared his difficulty in seeing a childhood friend slowly deteriorate into depression, lack of initiative and even an expressed lack of will to live. 
This person had gone through his fair share of family deaths, loss of job, faltering business and what not…. our mastermind member has taken this hard. 
He has tried to rekindle a spark of life and initiative in his old friend and has even offered to provide capital and opportunity for his friend. However, till now to no avail.

Can one really help another if that individual, despite being in real need and distress, is simply not willing to pick up the ball and run with it? 
It is a difficult thing for us to accept but this type of thing is an uphill battle. We can have a ton of good ideas, techniques, contacts and good will but… this "horse" will only drink the water if he has decided to do so. 
I am afraid that in the end we really have little influence here. 
That doesn’t mean we should stop trying. 
After all humans do change and one never knows the value of one good meeting…!

How To Bounce Back From Failure

This lovely article in the Huffington Post  shines a light on a very important life skill: how to be resilient, how to get back on the playing field when you have been hit hard. More specifically it talks about the qualities that are to be found in resilient people.

In the spirit of the words of Winston Churchill, "It is the courage to continue that counts", what really helps "happy people" be happy and not depressed, according to the research findings, is more often than not how they are able to bounce back to positivity despite the bumps, falls and failures they have encountered. Their qualities?

1.    They stay with positive AND negative emotions

We all know how that when we are down everything looks just terrible…resiliency means being able to be down AND also being able to stay grateful- not easy, ay?

2.    They are realistically optimistic

As noted in a recent Taiwan National University study  resilient people take on an attitude of "realistic optimism," which combines the positive outlook of optimists with the critical thinking of pessimists,  something that can boost both happiness and resilience. It is not just about "yes or no" but about "what else?", the ability to create alternative ways to proceed, they don't sink but keep swimming , they have their box and are constantly looking outside it.

3.    They reject rejection!

They know that when someone rejects what they say, write or do it is not THEM that is being rejected but the thing or experience itself. They know very well that "rejection" is the course of life and it is not Rejection at all but just "course correction on your journey".

4.    They build strong support systems

How funny…did we ever use the word "mastermind" here? Networking, supporting, exchanging----all part of the same game.

5.    They notice (and appreciate) the little, positive things

They develop a habit of 3:1- for every negative thing they somehow keep in mind 3 positive things, no matter how small or apparently insignificant---and thus never get diluted!

6.    They seek opportunities for growth and learning

I love this one! I have noticed in my life that whenever I am in a setting in which I am learning or growing something of interest to me, I am in straight "happiness mode" no matter what might not be going right…And the flip side to this is that whatever happens to the resilient person is always part of the "leverage factor", he or she is going to take it as a learning experience. "I worked for American Harper's Bazaar... I got fired," Anna Wintour once said. "I recommend that you all get fired, it's a great learning experience."

7.    They're endlessly grateful

Sounds weird? Try it! I bet you will find that going into "grateful mode" will nearly always manage to steer the wheel in the other direction, even slightly.

Resiliency should be taught in schools and practiced in life. In my mind, it is by far and away the best "life insurance" one can have.

Are we Building Trust?

Recently I came upon a fascinating article that quoted social psychology research as saying that Americans trust each other, their organizations and governments a great deal less than in the past. 
Another research studied showed a correlation between the level of happiness as measured by the research survey and the level of trust people had in different countries. The results showed that countries where there was a higher level of mutual trust were also the countries in which people expressed a greater level of happiness. If you are really  curious about which countries came out on top: Norway, Netherlands, Denmark, Sweden. At the bottom of the barrel you could see names like Brazil, South Africa, Turkey, among others. Mmmmmm….Israel is not on the charts…

The Science of Trust

Without going too deeply into this very touchy subject, I definitely think that the topic is an essential one: how much trust are we building? 
We are living in a world that values constant change, competition, innovation and power- these don't seem to me to be the values which can most develop trust for us, as to me trust comes from a different direction: listening, appreciating, opening up, going the extra mile, developing relationship over time and over troubled times and turbulent waters.

Are we building trust in our interaction with the world? 
In my mind without it one does not get very far, sure you can make a quick fix, deal, move and attack without trust but you aren't going to be able to progress anywhere unless you cultivate a setting, environment and channels of trust. 
It's a basic human value of all societies. Start by trusting yourself…and me?...and then we'll be off and running…

To Work with Relatives and Friends...yes or no?

I think we have all heard about the "big warning"- DON'T open a business or work with a close relative or friend! 
We probably have all heard one or two horror stories, family break-ups, lawsuits in our time... but what do so many of us do?
EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE! 
We end up working with brothers and sisters, cousins and uncles, close friends and neighbors, it makes sense, doesn't it, that in a world in which you need to trust people the people who are closest to you can be trusted the most. 
And that is traditionally called "family and friends".

In a recent mastermind meeting we tackled this subject, as it was a topic raised by one of our members and the truth be told- there were different opinions and experiences. 
One thing that was unanimously agreed upon was that the issue is a sensitive one that must be addressed ahead of time, either between the parties alone or with the assistance of an outside professional (coach, consultant, business partner, for example). 
The mastermind was a great platform to get a lot of relevant information and experience in an intensive way within a positive and "results-oriented" framework.

In the end family is sometimes stronger than anything else, so if you want a family and want friends you need to work at making it happen.