Angry people don't get very far

You know how they always taught us that it often pays to count to 10 before striking back, sleep on it before answering, take a walk and then come back to what you wanted to do….well, to me it is very connected to the idea that when you are angry you really aren't "you" at all, but a temporary burst of anger.
Thus, when you react or provoke or strike back, you can never be sure if it is the anger that is talking from within you or you yourself. There is that step in between that we so often forget.

The thing we call "peace" is not a "head thing" but first and foremost a "heart thing".
You have to begin there and work up- angry people don't get very far with these kinds of things.

Storytelling Tips for Businessmen and Managers

I have not doubts about this: storytelling in the business setting is something that will continue to grow and flourish.
I use it in my own work and lectures, teach it as essential narrative tools for winning presentations and collaborate with Sharon Aviv in our work in a leading global hi-tech company, in the program called, "From Story to Success".
Storytelling is practical, effective and inspirational. Here are 5 tips from Ira Koretsky, worth paying attention to:

1.  People are at the heart of every great story.

2.  Stories are how people remember you.

3.  Use humor if you want to.

4.  Write in your authentic voice.

5.  Write and speak conversationally.

6.  Write emails as if they will be read on a smart phone.

7.  Tell more personal stories with relevant business messages.

Next time you want to say something important to someone, bear in mind what is above. You are likely to find that the story can tell it best.

Want to Win? First know what you want to happen!

There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.
(Napolean Hill)

In this world of over-information, over-methodology and over criticism, there is one thing that to me is the absolute basis of all success:
knowing what you want! Successful people are those who can focus on their target and then build their plan and passion to get there.
It all starts with the first step and that is…

Knowing what you want to happen!

Three Elements of Great Communication, According to Aristotle

In our day and age we have an automatic bias to anything that is "new", new is considered better, upgraded, faster, more effective. Personally, I think this is a dangerous stereotype, and as a coach who deals so often in how people communicate I find that history and the past has much more to give us.

Take Aristotle, for example, who lived nearly 2500 years ago. This article points to the three points that Aristotle cited as essential for effective communication:

1.       Ethos- which is essentially your credibility, do people believe what you say?

2.       Pathos- is what you say having an emotional impact on the listener?

3.       Logos- does it makes sense to the listener, is there an analytical and logical connection to what you are saying?

Three points, over two thousand years and nothing has changed. Great communication is not spin but basic fundamentals based on human existence.

Maybe we can stop upgrading and look the other way for strength and improvement?

Happiness is about Respect not riches

(Source:  The Greater Good Science Center- the center, located at the University of California, Berkeley, studies the psychology, sociology, and neuroscience of well-being, and teaches skills that foster a thriving, resilient, and compassionate society.)

I have found the research reports coming from this center to be most thought-provoking, even a bit provocative.
I often wonder why the wealthy amongst us are not more compassionate than the poor- there are compassionate people on both ends but there is not a big difference between them it seems. Have a look below.

============

Happiness is about Respect, Not Riches

And there was other discouraging news for the wealthy this year.
Research has long suggested that money doesn’t buy happiness; a study published in Psychological Science in July confirms that finding and goes a step further, changing the stakes of what we think of as high status: It turns out that if we’re looking to money, we’re looking in the wrong place.

Instead, the study found that happiness is more strongly associated with the level of respect and admiration we receive from peers.
The study’s researchers, led by UC Berkeley’s Cameron Anderson (and again including Keltner), refer to this level of respect and admiration as our “sociometric status,” as opposed to socioeconomic status.

In one experiment, college students high in sociometric status in their group—their sorority, for example, or their ROTC group—were happier than their peers, whereas socioeconomic status didn’t predict happiness.
Similarly, a broader, nationwide survey, which boasted people from a variety of backgrounds, income, and education levels, found that those who felt accepted, liked, included, and welcomed in their local hierarchy were happier than those who were simply wealthier.

“You don’t have to be rich to be happy,” Anderson told Greater Good, “but instead be a valuable contributing member to your groups.”

There is something very intuitive about this finding, something we don't really need scientific research for in order to understand profoundly: that people, more than anything else, need to feel appreciated, loved and connected in order to be happy.

High Status Brings Low Ethics?

(Source:  The Greater Good Science Center- the center, located at the University of California, Berkeley, studies the psychology, sociology, and neuroscience of well-being, and teaches skills that foster a thriving, resilient, and compassionate society.)

I have found the research reports coming from this center to be most thought-provoking, even a bit provocative.
I often wonder why the wealthy amongst us are not more compassionate than the poor- there are compassionate people on both ends but there is not a big difference between them it seems. Have a look below.

============

"They may have more money, but it seems that the upper class are poorer in morality.
In a series of seven studies, published in March in PNAS, researchers found that upper-class people are more likely than the lower class to break all kinds of rules—to cut off cars and pedestrians while driving, to help themselves to candy they know is meant for children, to report an impossible score in a game of chance to win cash they don’t rightfully deserve.

While the results surprised some, they didn’t come out of nowhere: They were the latest, if perhaps the most damning, in a series of studies in which researchers, including Greater Good Science Center Faculty Director Dacher Keltner, have looked at the effects of status on morality and kind, helpful (or “pro-social”) behavior.

Previously, as we’ve reported, they’ve found that upper class people are less generous, less compassionate, and less empathic.
(Many of these findings were summarized in a Greater Good article by Editor-in-Chief Jason Marsh, “Why Inequality is Bad for the One Percent,” published in September.)
Considered together, this line of research suggests not that the rich are inherently more unethical but that experiencing high status makes people more focused on themselves and feel less connected to others—an important lesson in this age of growing inequality.

“The rich aren’t bad people, they just live in insular worlds,” study co-author Paul Piff told Greater Good earlier this year.
“But if you’re able to reduce the extremes that exist between the haves and the have-nots, you’re going to go a long way toward closing the compassion and empathy gap.”

=======

If so, it is no wonder then, that many of the "feel good seminars" find strong support among the wealthy. Interesting….

Wake Up, Man! Life is Way Too Short!

It was a first for me on January 16, 2013. Even after 53 years in this world, and thousands of hours spent talking, facilitating, coaching, presenting, teaching, performing in front of thousands of people across the globe, I had never, never done this before!
Never had I been in a position where I had to talk about someone who had just died, deliver a eulogy, encourage others to speak about their feelings, plan and facilitate a memorial-type of event. 
I was more than a bit wary of how it was going to all come out. In the end, it turned out to be a meeting that I am sure I will never forget and, most likely, the same can be said for most of the other 14 participants on that evening.

Meir Navon, a long-time member of our Manager-Business Owners' Mastermind group, died last week, 3 days short of his 60th birthday.

He had battled with acute leukemia, overcame the disease with a bone marrow transplant from his brother, which saved his life but also weakened his lungs.
In the end, an ordinary virus got a hold Meir, who with a weakened immune system could not really match the viciousness of the virus, which in the end took his life.
Exactly one week after his death, I decided to dedicate our monthly mastermind meeting to Meir, allowing for each member of the group who wanted to share memories, anecdotes, impressions and feelings to do so without interruption.
I generally run my mastermind groups with a very lively and quick facilitation pace- participants are asked, instructed and guided by me to speak briefly, to focus, to contribute positively and to move on- as such I often need to cut people a bit short, but such is the methodology and it works wonderfully.
However, on this evening we moved into an opposite mode- slow, no interruptions, reflective, not a dialogue but a meeting of the hearts where every heart spoke for itself.

I can say so much about what went on during this evening and what transpired within me, but I won't right now.
I do want to share one major thought, and that alone: that we human beings often forget the fact that we are ALL here on borrowed time, that life is way too short to keep dealing with all the little stuff that preoccupies, divides, stifles and limits our ability to really wake up and live our lives to the fullest! What happened to Meir can and does happen to nearly all of us at one stage or another- we lose control of our lives and start to battle with the "end of our lives".
Let's wake up to that, guys, let's not forget this, ever, ever, ever…
I can see Meir now, smiling at us from above, with a quick humorous and straight comment coming right at me….