As psychologist William James once said, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."
I wonder, how much and how often are we really appreciating ...people, opportunities, health, LIFE??....
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
How do you focus a person who does not want to be focused?
As a coach I find that oftentimes I am called on to "focus him/her".
And when I get there I think that what I need to do is quite different… help this creative individual see what happens to his great ideas when they seem to change every day or so?
Rather than try and focus this individual, the better strategy is in letting him run a bit in "moving the goal posts" just enough to feel that things do not seem to be moving ahead.
It is frustrating, I can guarantee you, but the opposite strategy- forcing focus- just puts you in a position where many others have been before: telling a wildly creative person that he or she must conform, do like the others, do their "homework" and so on…that is not going to help much, is it?
Any thoughts or comments on such a dilemma?
And when I get there I think that what I need to do is quite different… help this creative individual see what happens to his great ideas when they seem to change every day or so?
Rather than try and focus this individual, the better strategy is in letting him run a bit in "moving the goal posts" just enough to feel that things do not seem to be moving ahead.
It is frustrating, I can guarantee you, but the opposite strategy- forcing focus- just puts you in a position where many others have been before: telling a wildly creative person that he or she must conform, do like the others, do their "homework" and so on…that is not going to help much, is it?
Any thoughts or comments on such a dilemma?
Monday, February 3, 2014
Inspiration is great but Habits are a definite MUST!
I love to be inspired, it is something that gets me moving, believing, brings energy to my life, to my mind, to my work, to my business….to others!
I think I would have a hard time doing something for a long time if it were not in some way or another inspiring.
I am fortunate in that way, the profession I have trained into and turned to nearly 11 years ago, business and life coaching, is something that moves and inspires me immensely.
It assists me in getting things done, creating new things and most of all….helping my clients get themselves moving successfully.
Yet, if I would put "inspiration" against "habit" as a major key to success, I think I would vote for the latter.
It is because habit makes up the bits and bytes of what one does, if one develops good habits things change and reality is created.
And the contrary is also so, bad habits can kill you, can prevent any significant change in your life.
Identifying and changing those habits is at the core in what coaching is made up of, even beyond the tremendous inspiration.
That is why a Tony Robbins weekend may be great but it will not get you there in the real world, for that you will do much better with a professional personal coach- in business or otherwise.
Change does not start with habit, it starts with thought, which starts with awareness.
Check in with one of the worlds' most profound philosophers of the East, Lao-Tse, read the following words carefully as they can change your life.
So go for inspiration, absolutely but don't forget that in the end you will need those habits to change for real:
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit.
Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”
Lao-Tzu (Chinese philosopher)
I think I would have a hard time doing something for a long time if it were not in some way or another inspiring.
I am fortunate in that way, the profession I have trained into and turned to nearly 11 years ago, business and life coaching, is something that moves and inspires me immensely.
It assists me in getting things done, creating new things and most of all….helping my clients get themselves moving successfully.
Yet, if I would put "inspiration" against "habit" as a major key to success, I think I would vote for the latter.
It is because habit makes up the bits and bytes of what one does, if one develops good habits things change and reality is created.
And the contrary is also so, bad habits can kill you, can prevent any significant change in your life.
Identifying and changing those habits is at the core in what coaching is made up of, even beyond the tremendous inspiration.
That is why a Tony Robbins weekend may be great but it will not get you there in the real world, for that you will do much better with a professional personal coach- in business or otherwise.
Change does not start with habit, it starts with thought, which starts with awareness.
Check in with one of the worlds' most profound philosophers of the East, Lao-Tse, read the following words carefully as they can change your life.
So go for inspiration, absolutely but don't forget that in the end you will need those habits to change for real:
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit.
Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”
Lao-Tzu (Chinese philosopher)
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Watch out for Focus at all costs!
It may seem odd that as a coach I am going to advocate something that is "anti-focus" since a large part of what I do is actually that- helping clients focus on what is most important and of greatest value. But there is another side to this all and it is that of "over-focus", where the manager or business owner find themselves obsessively guiding and pontificating about "focus, focus, focus" at the expense of some other no less important points screaming for attention and "quality time"…Today's world which expects immediate ROI in the midst of attention deficit, hyper-connectedness and information overflow is endanger of "death by over-focus" as well…
Daniel Goleman, PhD, a leading author, psychologist and promoter of the term "emotional intelligence", has put out another book called "Focus- the hidden driver of excellence", in which he proposes that the leader today needs to focus on a "triple focus": inner (self), outer (system) and other (people). Goleman: "Every organization needs people with a keen focus on goals that matter, the talent to continually learn how to do even better, and the ability to tune out distractions. Innovation, productivity, and growth depend on such high-performers.
But only to a point. Ambitious revenue targets or growth goals are not the only gauge of an organization’s health—and if they are achieved at a cost to other basics, the long-term downsides, like losing star employees, can outweigh short-term successes as those costs lead to later failures.
When we’re fixated on a goal, whatever is relevant to that point of focus gets priority. Focus is not just selecting the right thing but also saying no to the wrong ones; focus goes too far when it says no to the right things, too. Single-pointed fixation on a goal morphs into overachievement when the category of “distractions” expands to include other people’s valid concerns, their smart ideas, and their crucial information. Not to mention their morale, loyalty, and motivation."
I have seen what Goleman is concerned about in my own work with managers and leaders and I think it all revolves around a lack of "human empathy" that abounds in our organizations. When leaders are hyper-focused on results- or "deliverables"- they often forget that they are there to lead people not just things. At times I have seen organizational cultures who praise the "goals, deliverables and profit" so much that they end up filtering out people who come up with creative ideas, alienating individuals whose best value is not always produced by "hyper-focus", or they may end up cheating and cutting corners and time and again seem to "forget promises".
If you are a manager or a leader please remember that you are there not ONLY to get results but no less to lead people over the long haul, to create an organization that is a place worthy of people spending a better part of their daily life, a place which achieves goals while acting ethically, respecting others and the environment.
We are in the year 2014--- wake up guys, there are people out there, how well have you seen and heard them?
Daniel Goleman, PhD, a leading author, psychologist and promoter of the term "emotional intelligence", has put out another book called "Focus- the hidden driver of excellence", in which he proposes that the leader today needs to focus on a "triple focus": inner (self), outer (system) and other (people). Goleman: "Every organization needs people with a keen focus on goals that matter, the talent to continually learn how to do even better, and the ability to tune out distractions. Innovation, productivity, and growth depend on such high-performers.
But only to a point. Ambitious revenue targets or growth goals are not the only gauge of an organization’s health—and if they are achieved at a cost to other basics, the long-term downsides, like losing star employees, can outweigh short-term successes as those costs lead to later failures.
When we’re fixated on a goal, whatever is relevant to that point of focus gets priority. Focus is not just selecting the right thing but also saying no to the wrong ones; focus goes too far when it says no to the right things, too. Single-pointed fixation on a goal morphs into overachievement when the category of “distractions” expands to include other people’s valid concerns, their smart ideas, and their crucial information. Not to mention their morale, loyalty, and motivation."
I have seen what Goleman is concerned about in my own work with managers and leaders and I think it all revolves around a lack of "human empathy" that abounds in our organizations. When leaders are hyper-focused on results- or "deliverables"- they often forget that they are there to lead people not just things. At times I have seen organizational cultures who praise the "goals, deliverables and profit" so much that they end up filtering out people who come up with creative ideas, alienating individuals whose best value is not always produced by "hyper-focus", or they may end up cheating and cutting corners and time and again seem to "forget promises".
If you are a manager or a leader please remember that you are there not ONLY to get results but no less to lead people over the long haul, to create an organization that is a place worthy of people spending a better part of their daily life, a place which achieves goals while acting ethically, respecting others and the environment.
We are in the year 2014--- wake up guys, there are people out there, how well have you seen and heard them?
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