Well???....Just Do It!

First one arrived...and then another, and another and...they don't just come to me, they probably came your way as well for one reason or another, we all know them I am sure... I call them the "fence kids", although they have not been kids for years. 
These are those dear people we all know who simply have a terrible time at deciding to initiate an action

One more test, one more postponement, need to ask one more person... and the answer is really rather simple: he who does nothing does not make mistakes, self-criticism can be much more devastating on something you did and did not fare well, then the criticism you dish out to yourself on something you did NOT do. In many cases, these fence-sitters know that it is better to act but the whole process simply overwhelms them and so they just let it ride...and ride...and ride...

Not only individuals can find themselves in such situations- organizations and nations can be much the same. 
Just observe the negotiation process between Israel and the Palestinians that went on for 9 months with no results- why? Who is afraid to take decisions?

The thing is this- cost/benefit- the minute our friendly fence-sitters will decide that the mistake of not doing anything becomes greater than the mistake of doing something and having it fail, then and only then will we see some serious "fence disengagement". 
Until then...we shall wait...and wait, and..

.

You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result.  (Mahatma Gandhi)

When Arabs and Jews Meet to talk about... Parents and Kids

Two weeks ago, a few days before a meeting of the group in our house, I told my dear daughter, 21 and currently an officer in the Israeli Defense Forces, that later that week we will have a meeting of about 20 people in our living room, about half of whom will be Arabs, and we will be talking about "Parents and Kids". 
She asked me somewhat blandly without thinking too much about what I had just said, (not unusual in that I was probably competing for her attention with some "What's App" conversation- or two or three- at the time), "What do Arabs and Jews have to do with parents and kids?". 
When I explained the reasoning behind it all, she ended up nodding her head as if it were the most obvious thing in the world...but that is just it, it is NOT so obvious, in fact NOTHING is obvious when it comes to Arabs and Jews in our region!!

As I see it, one of the many maladies we suffer from in our neck of the woods is the massive alienation that we have one from the other, we are all very quick to line up behind "our flag", our team, our answers to the usual questions, without really trying to examine, learn what is "out there"...our identification is too narrow in my mind, we tend to forget that any "identity" we think we have is really an amalgamation of all kinds of influences and various segments that impact this identity, be it religion, personal experience, education, geographical location, socio-economic level, among others. 
We tend to forget or ignore the identity that in my eyes is above all others- that of "the human being". 
As such, when Arabs and Jews get together they have so very much to talk about, provided that the environment is one of openness, curiosity, mutual learning, mutual trust and respect. 
When this happens, what I have seen on many many occasions is that suddenly things get really interesting, because the "human side" comes forth, far away from the political debate (which has its place, of course, but not in our frame for the group). When we can all set aside these "flags " of ours and enjoy the conversation, interaction and learning we find the "human being" in our presence and THAT to me is much more interesting...

That is precisely the philosophy behind the inter-cultural meetings group that I have recently set up along with my friend and Arabic teacher, Dr. Yosef Bashara,  a group we call "Tashaa", which is the initials in Hebrew for "Different Cultures, One Humanity". The group meets once a month in the homes of its members, from the Jewish towns in the Sharon area and the Arabic towns in the Triangle. 
Each meeting always has a new topic for discussions, new opportunities to meet new people and to get to know better those whom we have already met. It is an opportunity framed to help us learn about the "other", but in fact, we always end up learning more and more about ourselves as well...

During the last meeting, I showed a video clip of Prof. Chaim Omer, a well-known psychologist in Israel who has written extensively about "how to rehabilitate parental authority". 
With that trigger in the room I opened up the conversation: how much and how far can we and should we go in protecting our children from unlimited information and messages that stream unyieldingly into their lives via internet, television and smarthphones?; How do we balance our need to know, protect and shelter and the effect that this might have on our communication with our kids? 
The responses were fast in coming, the interesting thing being that suddenly it was not clear who was the "conservative Arab" and who was that "liberal Jew", as everybody had a different vantage point, a different approach, a different experience and a different point in which they were confused, or ambivalent or just simply not aware. While it was clear that the Arabs in our group were dealing with a much more conservative society, it was not at all clear what was our individual "take home message"- when to trust and when to be wary, when to push ahead and when to let go, what may be differences between boy and girls, where is the technology the issue and when is the technology a barrier to understanding the bigger questions. 
"Take home messages" are never closed-ended and THAT is the beauty of such conversations, they are open-ended, stimulating and help us think with blinders, talk without flags, listen with our hearts and not just our minds. 
Suddenly we were no longer 17 Arabs and Jews but 17 human beings discussing the very day to day of challenges in our lives...

During the second part of the evening we want in the opposite direction: if previously we had talked about us as parents to our kids, this time it was us as kids to our parents! An interesting TED clip stimulated our brain neurons to learn about how old age is dealt with across various traditional cultures and then we took it home to US...how do we deal with our elderly? 
Not a philosophical question at all but a very practical one, we immediately launched into seeing where this touched as all: one member spoke about having to forego an opportunity to do a post-doctoral term abroad as he is the eldest son with elderly parents, he spoke of the challenge to bridge the desire for professional development with the commitment of parental responsibility. 
Another participant spoke of the difficulty in dealing with this issue with his siblings, as it has surfaced many issues she was not ready to tackle; traditional approaches mixed in with modern ones, economic needs confronting aspirations for personal growth and development...no clear-cut answers, many poignant questions and life-situations...

I personally believe that deep down we all know what is best for us, although it is not always clear and out in the open, by all means. When we allow ourselves the time and place to listen to others, to interact and to share experiences and questions with others who are not necessarily coming from where we are coming from, we enable a type of growth that we could not have done previously. 
It is not a growth in which we find only Jews or only Arabs but a place where we engage with people, some who are Arabs and some who are Jews. 
It is a a place of "Different Cultures and One Humanity".

Jews and Arabs Meet in the Sharon to Talk about Life and just....BE!

I am proud to report that I, in tandem with my Arabic teacher and friend, Dr. Yosef Bashara, have launched a non-political, socially-oriented encounter group between Israeli Arabs (Palestinians) and Jews in the Sharon area in Israel. 
The launch and the first meeting went great and the group has virtually filled up with next to no marketing efforts....just shows you how much of a need is out there....so get this, one Jewish member told the group that he has lived about 4 kilometers from the Arab town in which we met for about 30 years and had never been before in an Arab home..."What?", an Arab female participant said...." I can't believe what you are saying! I have been to Jewish homes hundreds of times..."! 
So this is what we see, the tale of two people, there are others and other stories but the bottom line is that these dividing lines between people are artificial, breed alienation, stereotypes, fear and much worse....let's change it!

The "Triangle" area in the Sharon is home to about 100,000 Israeli Arabs, who have been citizens of the State of Israel since 1948, most of whom speak Hebrew very fluently (along with their native Arabic tongue), most are well-integrated into the overall economy and yet...the level of interaction between the communities, if at all, is mostly related to blue collar work that the Arabs perform: car repair, housekeeping, restaurants, construction labor, gardening, and son. 
How about deeper interaction with the professionals, medical personnel, intellectuals and entrepreneurs? There is some, not very dominant. 
Friendship and joint socializing? Few and far between. 
In essence the two communities live in parallel, the great majority of Jews do not have a clue how to hold a conversation in Arabic and as we have already seen, many of us have never set foot inside an Arab home...pretty amazing, no? Pretty pathetic, no? 
You can imagine how many stereotypes abound when people really don't actually get to know one another...

So how do we change this? You will hear answers like " politicians need to want it", "the school system should encourage it", and that kind of thing, but what actually happens is very very little. 
To me this is not only deeply unfortunate but much more than that- it is almost criminal to leave such a situation as is....humanity is losing so much by lack of meaningful contact, not to mention the illusive peace which will never come so long as people do not learn to live, appreciate and cooperate one with the other.

Yes, the group is a drop in the bucket, a bunch of wonderful people with good intentions and a positive attitude. 
It was Mother Theresea I think who once said that "One person can't change the world but we can change the world of one person".  
I would like to look at this drop in a bucket as more or less in this spirit. One drop, then another drop and another...a bucket to fill our souls, nurture or humanity and live our lives while meeting, growing and developing ourselves along with our neighbors.

Learning from Richard Branson on Why Leading Means Listening

I love to learn from entrepreneurs like Richard Branson- they are full of lessons to be learned and often cherish sharing them with others.
Branson as passed the age of 60 and his achievements are no less than remarkable and inspiring: from a 16 year old high-school drop-out, dyslexia, lots of drugs, sex, rock and roll, extreme sport and danger to becoming No. 261 on Forbes' "World Billionaires" list with his $2.5 billion in self-made fortune, which includes two private islands.
No less remarkable to me is the fact that Branson invests much time, resources, money and contacts into helping others get ahead in their lives, businesses and communities.

Which is why I particularly liked what Branson said in his blog:
"...It’s often easy to spot an inexperienced leader.
If you see someone raising his voice at employees, stuttering nervously in front of a group or avoiding admitting when he’s wrong, that’s a person who is just starting out...if you want to stand out as a leader, a good place to begin is by listening.
Any organization’s best assets are its people, and if you are ready to help the team to achieve its goals, you can start gathering information on how to move things along just by paying attention to what employees are saying .
This skill will help you throughout your career.
Leaders who are great listeners are often terrific at uncovering and putting in place strategies and plans that have a big impact..."

Sounds simple, right? Unfortunately not so simple- just see at your next team meeting, board meeting, and so on, stop and observe how often people are really listening and how often they are talking or just getting ready to reply- not really listening.
That is the "ego factor" that I work on all the time in our mastermind groups, even if it is not specifically stated, because in the DunetzMastermind setting listening is key.
Because better listening means better leadership, better leadership means better motivation, better execution, better success.
And life looks a lot more interesting when you are out there listening...go give it a try and let me know what you find!

People are Different- Let's Understand and Accept

In our global age of information anytime, always and non-stop we tend to forget....people are different---we need to not forget to respect, understand and appreciate the diversity of cultures, view points and mindsets! It's what we call part of WISDOM..

Why is Empathy important to cultivate in Management?

The term “empathy” is used to describe a wide range of experiences. 
Emotion researchers generally define empathy as the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.

Contemporary researchers often differentiate between two types of empathy: “Affective empathy” refers to the sensations and feelings we get in response to others’ emotions; this can include mirroring what that person is feeling, or just feeling stressed when we detect another’s fear or anxiety. 
“Cognitive empathy,” sometimes called “perspective taking,” refers to our ability to identify and understand other peoples’ emotions.

So what does all this have to do with business?
 Lots! Because more and more in modern organizations we are finding that positive psychology works much better than the old "I am the boss and do what I say", today organizations require employees and managers to demonstrate and perform better and more. 
That means more creativity, more initiative, better communication and more effective presentation. 
Today's progressive managers look to make the work place a "happy place to be", both from a change in society's values as well as the demands from the younger generation.

This is where coaching and masterminding have very much to offer the modern, progressive organization as they each in their own way help people develop empathy. 
Where there is empathy, there is listening and where there is listening there is better support and more "we" and less "I". 
True, this kind of stuff is pontificated by all sorts of HR personnel in organizations, but managers and employees are not dumbwits, they can sense when it is coming from value-based organizations and when these words are used to manipulate others.

I say the time is ripe to get up and show that organizations that have empathy also bring in bottom line ROI! It is out there, it is there to be had and there are many, many out there who are hearing this music…

Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world. --Barack Obama

Doing Good by Doing Good Business- it can be done!

Doing Good by Doing Good Business! I love the idea in its different variations- here is Richard Bramson, one of the world's greatest entrepreneurs singing this song--- and doing it as well---have a look below…it takes a mind shift but social business entrepreneurship is gaining ground and inspires---me for sure, but many more…

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/231150?newsletter=true