The mastermind groups tackle Reframing

Reframing is a process that we all do even though we don't call it that or are not particularly aware that this is what we are doing! A frame, or frame of reference are mental models (schema) of unquestioned beliefs, values ,etc., that we use to infer meaning. Reframing- when any part of that frame is changed (hence 'reframing'), then the meaning that is inferred may change.

Reframing is at the heart of what we coaches do, but not only us, as the approach is used all the time by therapists, teachers, facilitators, managers, leaders and… all of us! 
The power of reframing is huge- one can quickly feel it when one reframes:

A problem as an opportunity

A weakness as a strength

An impossibility as a distant possibility

A distant possibility as a near possibility

Someone is 'against me' to something completely different, neutral (it is not really about me')

An act of unkindness as lack of understanding, etc.

You can often change a person's frame simply by changing their emotional state, making them happier, more aggressive, etc. When they are happier, for example, they will be more positive and optimistic (and vice versa).

Actually, reframing can change your life in so many ways, it can help when get out difficult spots emotionally and practically.

Which is why I brought this exercise to the mastermind meetings I ran recently, I knew they would love it and I was not disappointed! Very swiftly and effectively each participant was given the challenge of presenting problems and then asked, along with the small group, to try and reframe perspectives to see what he or she was "missing".

Bottom line? Sometimes it is important to give what you already our doing a name, and our name was "reframe". Once you do that, the power of focus, intent and in our mastermind- collective intelligence- comes into play.  
And then….it is beautiful to watch since

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. (Wayne Dyer)!

Can business make the world a better place?

Of course it can, good luck to Yadin Kaufmann and partners who are seeing 10 steps ahead in developing venture capital based ventures in the Palestinian territories, which will of course, help Israel, help regional development and the world... forward thinking for people who think ahead!

Can business make the world a better place? 
Yadin Kaufmann at TEDxRoma
TEDx Talks


It was over 24 years ago when I did my masters of international management at one of the world's leading graduate institutions in the field- the Thunderbird Graduate School of Global Management (name has changed about 4 times over the last nearly 70 years). 
What brought me to that school in the Arizona desert of the USA, among other things, was the concept that where business crosses borders and cultures, peace will flourish and humanity will progress. 
It's a nice concept, I don't really believe in it totally, not today, because I have seen so many times where the "me only" mentality overcomes business interests and keeps work and enmity fueled. 
But the idea is a good one, as part of an overall psychology of piece, in that economic benefits which accrue to the grassroots will in the end be very important in making change happen.

I applaud all those business investors, entrepreneurs and change-makers wherever they are, in leading the way, having the courage to come out with what they believe and the perseverance to outlive all the naysayers…. and there are lots!

Market opportunities that most of us miss…

I think most of us know this story, right? As follows:

Back in the mid- 19th century two shoe salesmen were sent to Africa to see if there was a market for their product. 
The first salesman reported back by morse code, “This is a terrible business opportunity, no-one wears shoes, no market.”

The second salesman reported back a few hours later, “This is a fantastic business opportunity, no-one wears shoes, great market.”

This story is often used, and I myself tell it from time to time, to illustrate optimism, creative business development, perspective, etc. 
But you know what? It can really actually be used to talk about real, current and significant business opportunities in and of itself- in Africa and in many places across the developing world.

Most people I know, and I think I was guilty of the same for many years, don't really connect between the developing world and business opportunity, they see these places as highly unstable, poor, corrupt, far, foreign, risky and, in short…not our cup of tea. 
Are they missing something? 
I think they are, I have always been fascinated by the opportunity to use good business to do good things for people who need it most.

Let's look at these facts and figures to see just how interesting all this might be- from both a business and human perspective:

· 3.7 billion people worldwide live on less than $3 a day, about half the world. People living in poor areas end up spending more money than those in more affluent areas for goods and services like water and electricity, which means if one can reduce cost for such essentials then there will be market opportunities.
· Most of these same poor people lack clean, safe, affordable energy, safe access to water, basic sanitation, basic education, basic medical care (access to doctors is limited if at all possible to many)- new technologies that can provide these things can open up new markets and help millions in their lives and struggles.
· Over the past 10 years or so, 6 of the ten fastest growing countries in the world were in Africa, overall growth rates in Africa, Asia and Latin American are far higher than OECD countries- something is going on!
· Social entrepreneurship- the marriage of business modeling and management to social problems- has been evolving, thereby opening up new vistas. Increasingly companies, communities and people at large are beginning to pay attention to the "triple bottom line"-providing social value in tune with environmental sustainability as well as creating profit. In the developing world the opportunity is to earn a fair profit through high volume sales at an affordable cost to large populations.
·  What area of the world do you think has the largest growing mobile phone market? The US? Europe? Israel? Wrong, wrong, wrong- Africa! There are more mobile subscribers in Africa or the EU, as Africans are quickly moving up the technological learning curve, using mobile apps for banking, farming, communicating with authorities, among many other uses.

I have always admired business managers, owners and entrepreneurs who went out of the way to think differently, and not only for their own sake but for the sake of others. 
Today, more than ever, it is possible to make money and do good- let's keep our eyes on those who need it most.

Where do we find those salesmen who see the shoes instead of the barefoot feet?

Are you Moving?

Chance favors those in motion.

~ James Austin 

I see it all the time- when a person is stuck, what is needed is MOTION! Motion brings processes, contacts, opportunities, things that you really can't forecast. 

The key point: feeling stuck? Get in to motion, and then start thinking... when in motion we somehow manage to move some of those nuts and bolts, things open up.... and then the interesting work begins!

Well???....Just Do It!

First one arrived...and then another, and another and...they don't just come to me, they probably came your way as well for one reason or another, we all know them I am sure... I call them the "fence kids", although they have not been kids for years. 
These are those dear people we all know who simply have a terrible time at deciding to initiate an action

One more test, one more postponement, need to ask one more person... and the answer is really rather simple: he who does nothing does not make mistakes, self-criticism can be much more devastating on something you did and did not fare well, then the criticism you dish out to yourself on something you did NOT do. In many cases, these fence-sitters know that it is better to act but the whole process simply overwhelms them and so they just let it ride...and ride...and ride...

Not only individuals can find themselves in such situations- organizations and nations can be much the same. 
Just observe the negotiation process between Israel and the Palestinians that went on for 9 months with no results- why? Who is afraid to take decisions?

The thing is this- cost/benefit- the minute our friendly fence-sitters will decide that the mistake of not doing anything becomes greater than the mistake of doing something and having it fail, then and only then will we see some serious "fence disengagement". 
Until then...we shall wait...and wait, and..

.

You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result.  (Mahatma Gandhi)

When Arabs and Jews Meet to talk about... Parents and Kids

Two weeks ago, a few days before a meeting of the group in our house, I told my dear daughter, 21 and currently an officer in the Israeli Defense Forces, that later that week we will have a meeting of about 20 people in our living room, about half of whom will be Arabs, and we will be talking about "Parents and Kids". 
She asked me somewhat blandly without thinking too much about what I had just said, (not unusual in that I was probably competing for her attention with some "What's App" conversation- or two or three- at the time), "What do Arabs and Jews have to do with parents and kids?". 
When I explained the reasoning behind it all, she ended up nodding her head as if it were the most obvious thing in the world...but that is just it, it is NOT so obvious, in fact NOTHING is obvious when it comes to Arabs and Jews in our region!!

As I see it, one of the many maladies we suffer from in our neck of the woods is the massive alienation that we have one from the other, we are all very quick to line up behind "our flag", our team, our answers to the usual questions, without really trying to examine, learn what is "out there"...our identification is too narrow in my mind, we tend to forget that any "identity" we think we have is really an amalgamation of all kinds of influences and various segments that impact this identity, be it religion, personal experience, education, geographical location, socio-economic level, among others. 
We tend to forget or ignore the identity that in my eyes is above all others- that of "the human being". 
As such, when Arabs and Jews get together they have so very much to talk about, provided that the environment is one of openness, curiosity, mutual learning, mutual trust and respect. 
When this happens, what I have seen on many many occasions is that suddenly things get really interesting, because the "human side" comes forth, far away from the political debate (which has its place, of course, but not in our frame for the group). When we can all set aside these "flags " of ours and enjoy the conversation, interaction and learning we find the "human being" in our presence and THAT to me is much more interesting...

That is precisely the philosophy behind the inter-cultural meetings group that I have recently set up along with my friend and Arabic teacher, Dr. Yosef Bashara,  a group we call "Tashaa", which is the initials in Hebrew for "Different Cultures, One Humanity". The group meets once a month in the homes of its members, from the Jewish towns in the Sharon area and the Arabic towns in the Triangle. 
Each meeting always has a new topic for discussions, new opportunities to meet new people and to get to know better those whom we have already met. It is an opportunity framed to help us learn about the "other", but in fact, we always end up learning more and more about ourselves as well...

During the last meeting, I showed a video clip of Prof. Chaim Omer, a well-known psychologist in Israel who has written extensively about "how to rehabilitate parental authority". 
With that trigger in the room I opened up the conversation: how much and how far can we and should we go in protecting our children from unlimited information and messages that stream unyieldingly into their lives via internet, television and smarthphones?; How do we balance our need to know, protect and shelter and the effect that this might have on our communication with our kids? 
The responses were fast in coming, the interesting thing being that suddenly it was not clear who was the "conservative Arab" and who was that "liberal Jew", as everybody had a different vantage point, a different approach, a different experience and a different point in which they were confused, or ambivalent or just simply not aware. While it was clear that the Arabs in our group were dealing with a much more conservative society, it was not at all clear what was our individual "take home message"- when to trust and when to be wary, when to push ahead and when to let go, what may be differences between boy and girls, where is the technology the issue and when is the technology a barrier to understanding the bigger questions. 
"Take home messages" are never closed-ended and THAT is the beauty of such conversations, they are open-ended, stimulating and help us think with blinders, talk without flags, listen with our hearts and not just our minds. 
Suddenly we were no longer 17 Arabs and Jews but 17 human beings discussing the very day to day of challenges in our lives...

During the second part of the evening we want in the opposite direction: if previously we had talked about us as parents to our kids, this time it was us as kids to our parents! An interesting TED clip stimulated our brain neurons to learn about how old age is dealt with across various traditional cultures and then we took it home to US...how do we deal with our elderly? 
Not a philosophical question at all but a very practical one, we immediately launched into seeing where this touched as all: one member spoke about having to forego an opportunity to do a post-doctoral term abroad as he is the eldest son with elderly parents, he spoke of the challenge to bridge the desire for professional development with the commitment of parental responsibility. 
Another participant spoke of the difficulty in dealing with this issue with his siblings, as it has surfaced many issues she was not ready to tackle; traditional approaches mixed in with modern ones, economic needs confronting aspirations for personal growth and development...no clear-cut answers, many poignant questions and life-situations...

I personally believe that deep down we all know what is best for us, although it is not always clear and out in the open, by all means. When we allow ourselves the time and place to listen to others, to interact and to share experiences and questions with others who are not necessarily coming from where we are coming from, we enable a type of growth that we could not have done previously. 
It is not a growth in which we find only Jews or only Arabs but a place where we engage with people, some who are Arabs and some who are Jews. 
It is a a place of "Different Cultures and One Humanity".

Jews and Arabs Meet in the Sharon to Talk about Life and just....BE!

I am proud to report that I, in tandem with my Arabic teacher and friend, Dr. Yosef Bashara, have launched a non-political, socially-oriented encounter group between Israeli Arabs (Palestinians) and Jews in the Sharon area in Israel. 
The launch and the first meeting went great and the group has virtually filled up with next to no marketing efforts....just shows you how much of a need is out there....so get this, one Jewish member told the group that he has lived about 4 kilometers from the Arab town in which we met for about 30 years and had never been before in an Arab home..."What?", an Arab female participant said...." I can't believe what you are saying! I have been to Jewish homes hundreds of times..."! 
So this is what we see, the tale of two people, there are others and other stories but the bottom line is that these dividing lines between people are artificial, breed alienation, stereotypes, fear and much worse....let's change it!

The "Triangle" area in the Sharon is home to about 100,000 Israeli Arabs, who have been citizens of the State of Israel since 1948, most of whom speak Hebrew very fluently (along with their native Arabic tongue), most are well-integrated into the overall economy and yet...the level of interaction between the communities, if at all, is mostly related to blue collar work that the Arabs perform: car repair, housekeeping, restaurants, construction labor, gardening, and son. 
How about deeper interaction with the professionals, medical personnel, intellectuals and entrepreneurs? There is some, not very dominant. 
Friendship and joint socializing? Few and far between. 
In essence the two communities live in parallel, the great majority of Jews do not have a clue how to hold a conversation in Arabic and as we have already seen, many of us have never set foot inside an Arab home...pretty amazing, no? Pretty pathetic, no? 
You can imagine how many stereotypes abound when people really don't actually get to know one another...

So how do we change this? You will hear answers like " politicians need to want it", "the school system should encourage it", and that kind of thing, but what actually happens is very very little. 
To me this is not only deeply unfortunate but much more than that- it is almost criminal to leave such a situation as is....humanity is losing so much by lack of meaningful contact, not to mention the illusive peace which will never come so long as people do not learn to live, appreciate and cooperate one with the other.

Yes, the group is a drop in the bucket, a bunch of wonderful people with good intentions and a positive attitude. 
It was Mother Theresea I think who once said that "One person can't change the world but we can change the world of one person".  
I would like to look at this drop in a bucket as more or less in this spirit. One drop, then another drop and another...a bucket to fill our souls, nurture or humanity and live our lives while meeting, growing and developing ourselves along with our neighbors.