Don't Ever Give up on the Passion in your Life!

I recently purchased a book from one of my favorite authors, Greg Levoy, whose first book was my "Bible" for some time, published in 1998, "Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life". It touched me deeply, motivated me in ways that I could hardly imagine, to make several core changes in my life, the chief one being to move ahead with my life in reclaiming the passion in work that had somehow eluded me more times that not. Thus, it was a great pleasure for me to get my hands on Levoy's new  493 page book, "Vital Signs: Discovering and Sustaining Passion for Life".

I didn't have to go much further than the introduction to hit a passage that floored me completely:

" A 2012 Gallup poll of employees in 142 countries found that, on average, 87 percent of are either "not engaged" or "actively disengaged"…and only 13 percent were "engaged". In the United States alone, this adds up to roughly $550 billion a years in lost productivity!!".

The term "not engaged" means you are not really connected to what exactly your living, doing and breathing in your life.
"Actively disengaged" means you are busy acting out your unhappiness, creating a lot of "dispassion" which is always very contagious.
When you are "actively disengaging" you are spreading dis-connection form things, from people, from relationships, and most alarmingly, yourself!

As human beings who are fortunate enough to be able to have the eyes, ears, mind, knowledge to use a computer or phone and the budget to use them, I want to suggest one thing: Don't ever let dis-passion and dis-engagement lead your life! You have so much going for you, the world is full of so many wonderful things, every moment there is an opportunity to make a change, small or large, and what holds you back is probably what holds most of us back- FEAR! We owe it to ourselves to find ways, methods, pursuits and relationships that will engage us even where life seems to be flowing towards "dis-engagement".

Levoy promises in the introduction to his book some of the many lessons that he learned and gathered about living passionately, and they all hit a strong chord in me, I hope they will with you as well:

Passion can be cultivated- it can be turned on as turned off.

Passion is in risk- it is about getting off the sidelines and into the playing field, taking a step out of the comfort zone of your life.

Passion breeds passion, and disinterest breeds disinterest. Watch out for the snowball effect!

Passion isn't necessarily about happiness, nor is it always a peak experience. Go out and experiment what it is for you.

Passion is intimately connected to health- health which we can seek to better both physically and psychologically.

Passion s more about endurance than exuberance. You have to work hard at it after all…

So to all the folks out there who can't stand their jobs, their bosses, their relationships, their lack of activity, health habits, way of eating, way of leisure, the place where they live and activities in which they participate….PLEASE go out and kick over your comfort zone barriers, get disengaged from the toxic stuff round and ENGAGE in what gives you life, energy, smiles and a sense of appreciation and gratefulness about life itself.
Trust me, we won't leave this world alive, why not COME ALIVE now? The world needs people that come alive.
Don't Ever Give up on the Passion in your Life!

Grow your Wisdom in Respecting the "Other"

Christmas Eve 2015, here in Israel, in the Arab town of Tira, in the Triangle area just about 20 minutes from my house.
Our Jewish-Arab Friendship and Cultural Exchange group, with nearly 30 participants proves time and again that in the midst of all the background violence, racism, fear and hate there is always room for another way to approach things.
We have been together for nearly two years now, not only discussing topics around "the situation" here in Israel, but open, sincere and empowering dialogue about each other, our careers, families, our concerns in our daily lives, among others. 

I, along with my co-organizer and friend Dr. Yosef Bishara, an impressive human being and educator who not only talks about his belief in coexistence between Jews and Arabs in Israel but also "walks his talk".
I facilitate the group's activities and always find that there is a deepening of a type of wisdom that comes when one really listens to "the other", far away from the incessant media reporting of violence and terror.
Terrorists look to instill fear by their treacherous acts and with terror there is really no other way to deal other than a "firm stick", but that should never stop the "humane route" to reach out to connect to "the other" on a human basis.
It seems very straightforward but it's not! It has always amazed me just how many people never get out of this box, this paradigm that sees life as white or black, turning their backs, minds and hearts on the opportunity to grow and forge ties with those who are unlike them. Where we live this is a very dangerous path to trod!

The year 2016 is already with us, I extend to all my friends in this group and outside of it a blessing and wish that we may we continue to "grow ourselves" and our wisdom in learning from, respecting, appreciating and growing our friendship for many days to come!

The "Thing" and the Interpretation of the "Thing"

Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations. ~ Alfred Adler

Let's face it- life throws all of us curveballs, we are constantly facing situations that change on us, people who act in unexpected ways and reality that does not go according to what we had planned and designed.
It does not matter if we are talking about a business situation or a family situation or the "man/driver on the street".
We don't have the slightest bit of an idea what will happen one second from now, what thought will be in our brain, what sound we will hear and who will be the next person or system to send us a text or facebook message.
Not the kind of playing field we human control freaks would like nor the type we are trained and programmed to accept.

However…..we ALWAYS have the last call.
We always have the ability to give meaning to things that happen to us, to the situations that occur around us and to the ATTITUDE we bring to things.
Alfred Adler said pretty much the same thing you might have heard from many other teachers, philosophers, psychologists or religious thinkers.
In the end it is much more important how we interpret the "thing" than the actual "thing" itself.

Aikido- after so many years

It's amazing to me- 25 years after I stopped doing Aikido on the mats, 29 years after I was doing it intensively in Japan, I went to an Aikido celebration in nearby Kfar Saba and.... felt as if I had never left! 

Something about the art of aikido, the movement, the spirit, the things that went so deep for those few years in Japan have never left me perhaps... so much so that I even flirted with the idea of a "comeback"- something that I won't do. 

Life has moved on to new and different paths. Apparently learning is like that- one builds one layer after another, one experience builds the other. 

The spirit of Aikido- collaboration, non-violence, working with others and not against, becoming centered and strongly rooted- resonate today as it did 30 years ago!

To take life is to lose life

I am sick to the stomach with the violence that is surrounding us day in day out, how difficult it is to think about coaching and meeting goals when innocent people are being knived, maimed and killed by one terrorist after another. 
There is something about the act of taking a knife and sticking it into another human being's body that totally dumfounds and disgusts me. 
All politics, opinions, religion and who is causing what and when aside, this very act is a terrible, terrible thing.

As I see and feel, the minute one takes another's life, and not in the act of self-defense, one is also losing one's own life. 
To take life is to lose life, and the reverberations go far, wide and deep. How pitiful and sad…

My colleague and friend, Naftali Arbel, a man well past the age of 80, author, poet, teacher, man of the book and culture wrote the following. 
Naftali is "salt of the earth", born and raised in Israel, fought in the War of Independence and is a member of our group of Jews and Arabs who meet monthly to forge bonds, relationships, learning and discussion. 
The poem, translated from the Hebrew, moved me greatly.

What are we worth in the end if there is no love and no chance to develop that love of life…
----------------
The mother of life
Don’t let him hate
Don’t destroy his heart
Don’t make him miserable
From birth to eternity
Because one who hates is a walking dead
Don’t lead him to die
He was enabled by God
To live and create
And to shine light in his heart where the dark may lie.

Hearts bring light to where lies the darkness of the world
Not for binding he was born
But to freedom he was born
Isaac or Ishmael, both
are brothers –  of their great Father

Don’t slander him with your poisoned tongue – let him live
Teach him to love
To know only good
Happy as a child
Enlightening others as a grown up

Love brings life to man
Never darken his sky
Allow him to live with happiness in his life
He was born with full rights to live, laugh and to love 

Love is the mother of all living things

"I love" means - "I am alive"

Global coaching- making it happen around the world

When I first heard of coaching, some 13 years ago, I remember the thought that came across my mind: "This is very American". 
And it was, perhaps still is.
Something about the methodology, the type of conversations, the format and the approach that I observed and later researched in depth really gave me that feeling – "American…California…San Francisco"…

Yet, a gross generalization it was then and a gross generalization it is now. 
The fact of the matter is that coaching works, and works wonders so often, when there are a few basic ingredients that are in place: the desire to be there, the power of reflection, the power of dialogue and an earnest, deep-seated desire to bring about positive change. These things are not "American" but "human".

However, the way to create these conditions can vary widely across cultures and nations, not knowing this can lead to major blunders, burnt relationships and missed opportunities. Turning your back on this can even lead to the end of your business.

Coaching empowers for positive change. 
Global coaching does that in tandem, respect and collaboration with those who are different from us wherever they may be.
Go global. Go global coaching!

Are you sure you are not trying to be a pleaser?

“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everybody.”

– Herbert Swope

They are out there in great numbers. 

I see them quite often in my coaching clinic or on my "coaching phone". I see it in my family members and I see it at times…in myself as well!

The desire to please others is deeply ingrained in us, it actually comes from a good place, we make a lot of friends that way, people will be pleased with us because we did and acted as they told us and expected from us. 

There is only one problem with this- it is doomed to failure! 

Our lives, careers and businesses are inherently contradictory, every decision that we make will involve a choice we did NOT make, and from there it is just a hop skip and a jump to recall to finding that somebody, and maybe quite a few somebodies, are not happy campers.

So what are you going to do about it? 

Well, if you see the pleaser inside you, remind him or her that they can be a good friend but they do not run the shop around here. 

Once you develop your own voice and your own mind, and learn to use it in conversation, you will find that the world will start lining up and accepting you more and more. 

But it is YOU who must make that first step. 

That is- to find the "pleaser" in that internal place in your mind and remind him that he cannot run the show.

Once you do that, come back and let me know, will you? 

Together we might find lots of insight, commitment and creativity on the way.