First Thing: Just Listen!

This past week was a very special one for me and for the group I have put together, along with my friend, Dr. Yosef Bishara from Tira. The group called " Different Cultures, One Humanity", is comprised of Jews and Arabs from the Sharon and Triangle areas in Central Israel. We meet once a month, each time in a different home of one of the members, once in the Jewish towns and villages, once in the Arab towns and villages (and if you are asking why they are separate, it is a great question and in my opinion part of the problem….we have many problems here….). Our goal is to stay of politics and on to creating bonds of education, culture, friendship and human kindness.

We, the founders, were very much troubled in the past weeks about if and when we should have our monthly meeting. We asked ourselves if in this terrible time of war in Gaza, if it is indeed appropriate, reasonable, sensible and feasible to have such a meeting. After all- thousands of Palestinians have been wounded and killed in Gaza, Israeli soldiers have given their lives, have wounded their bodies and souls, half of Israel has been under rocket attack for weeks, part of Gaza have been effectively destroyed and demolished…with fear, racism and  hate in the air- is this a time to gather and talk to each other peacefully in the warmth of our homes?

We feared that the members would not show up. If you

don’t  show up it doesn't happen , as we all know. However….our fears were groundless, the group showed up in unprecedented numbers, it was as if they were just sitting there and waiting for us to give them a call and make it happen. More than 25 Jews and Arabs sat in a small room in Tira and came for the specific reason that we all felt- this is not the way to live! There is no future in just continuing the violence, hate and killing!

I facilitated a "listening circle", asking every member to take hold of the "listening and object" and take up to 5 minutes to speak from the heart- and speak from the heart they did…. speaking of the fear for relatives who were in combat, for distant Palestinian residents in Gaza who were caught in the violence, fear of Palestinians in Israel from moving around freely in Israel amongst Jews, fear of Jews in entering Arab Israeli villages, both are things that are part of the regular daily routine here in Israel, quite a different story while war rages above, around and within us.

This was a listening circle, not a "talking circle". We were there to let people express that which was in their hearts without interference from others…. the effect was dramatic! For nearly two hours, even amidst ambient noise from the streets, the children, people moving around us, we were there as one, listening, reflecting, the pain, the fears, the tears and the hope…the hope to soon get to better, more human more promising days.

It was a very emotional evening, a very memorable one and a very authentic one. I recall that one smart person once remarked that listening – true and total listening- is nothing less than a gesture of love. And love is something that we all need and seek more of.