​One Good Thing, Just One Good Thing!

For years now- over a decade actually- I have been running group "masterminds" of businesspeople (both men and women), managers, leaders, entrepreneurs, who come together for all kinds of powerful, authentic conversation. 

I love these groups, they are so much different from what I usually see "out there", there is the awesome effect of generating "collective wisdom" along with listening and all kinds of other goodies…

Here is the number one tip I can share about this kind of gathering, it is so simple that it sounds like "Duh….", but I can assure you that in 90% of organizational settings out there you won’t find it. 

It is…."Start with one good thing!" Yes, one good thing, one good thing that you did, that happened to you, that touched your life, talk about that for 2 minutes with another person in the room and then switch sides.

What's the big deal you may ask? To me, it is a VERY big deal, because we are so accustomed to going zombie-like from one place to the next always in search of "What is wrong?!". 

We are forever chasing the 100 on the test we should have gotten and don't remember that 92, 81 and even 51 out of 100 means that there is more "right" than "wrong"! 

We are in a constant negative state of mind which brings us to criticism, apprehension, a "downward spiral" of energy and so on. 

When you ask a person to talk at semi-length about "one good thing" and then listen to others do the same, you generate a different kind of dynamic, a different kind of energy.

After all if you are reading these words chances are very high that most things in your body and mind work rather perfectly, even if there are places, organs and conditions which may not be what they used to be. 

It is life, life which has so much of so much, if we do recognize the power of positive energy in our thinking, being and interacting processes we can really take things to places which we may never have discovered in the "What went wrong?" processes.

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No doubt, we are talking about a balance, a convergence of things and not "absolute monarchy". 

But, please, will you give it a try? Will you give it a try and reach out to yourself and to others and ask- "What is one good thing you have done recently?"

So….Do You Have a Plan?

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Peter Drucker

It amazes me how the concept called "action plan" is not readily understood by so many.
I am sure we are all familiar with the frequent phenomenon of "talk and more talk", "lots of sizzle but not much steak", or the "I am still thinking about it", "analysis paralysis", "weighing my options", and so on…action? Nothing!
I have seen it in my "coaching clinic" for years now many, many times in business and life coaching.

Having an action plan is actually very intuitive to most folks but only after the mind has sort of been arranged in such a way that the individual sees the goal of it all, once the goal is clear and accepted, then it is time for clarity, planning and….commitment!
The planning process, which may come easy to some does not come that easy to others, but one really "can't leave home without one", right?

Look around and ask yourself if you have the right action plans in set to go after the "right" goals, be it in your business, career or personal life.
Putting the first thing as the first thing, agreeing "with yourself" what the goal is leads one directly into action-plan stage.
Once it is there- along with the commitment, of course- you will see how the action plan creates the reality.

A serious idea= a good idea+ action plan commitment.

I know you have plenty of good ideas, right?
How about the action plan?
What is your action plan, my friend?​

Don't Ever Give up on the Passion in your Life!

I recently purchased a book from one of my favorite authors, Greg Levoy, whose first book was my "Bible" for some time, published in 1998, "Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life". It touched me deeply, motivated me in ways that I could hardly imagine, to make several core changes in my life, the chief one being to move ahead with my life in reclaiming the passion in work that had somehow eluded me more times that not. Thus, it was a great pleasure for me to get my hands on Levoy's new  493 page book, "Vital Signs: Discovering and Sustaining Passion for Life".

I didn't have to go much further than the introduction to hit a passage that floored me completely:

" A 2012 Gallup poll of employees in 142 countries found that, on average, 87 percent of are either "not engaged" or "actively disengaged"…and only 13 percent were "engaged". In the United States alone, this adds up to roughly $550 billion a years in lost productivity!!".

The term "not engaged" means you are not really connected to what exactly your living, doing and breathing in your life.
"Actively disengaged" means you are busy acting out your unhappiness, creating a lot of "dispassion" which is always very contagious.
When you are "actively disengaging" you are spreading dis-connection form things, from people, from relationships, and most alarmingly, yourself!

As human beings who are fortunate enough to be able to have the eyes, ears, mind, knowledge to use a computer or phone and the budget to use them, I want to suggest one thing: Don't ever let dis-passion and dis-engagement lead your life! You have so much going for you, the world is full of so many wonderful things, every moment there is an opportunity to make a change, small or large, and what holds you back is probably what holds most of us back- FEAR! We owe it to ourselves to find ways, methods, pursuits and relationships that will engage us even where life seems to be flowing towards "dis-engagement".

Levoy promises in the introduction to his book some of the many lessons that he learned and gathered about living passionately, and they all hit a strong chord in me, I hope they will with you as well:

Passion can be cultivated- it can be turned on as turned off.

Passion is in risk- it is about getting off the sidelines and into the playing field, taking a step out of the comfort zone of your life.

Passion breeds passion, and disinterest breeds disinterest. Watch out for the snowball effect!

Passion isn't necessarily about happiness, nor is it always a peak experience. Go out and experiment what it is for you.

Passion is intimately connected to health- health which we can seek to better both physically and psychologically.

Passion s more about endurance than exuberance. You have to work hard at it after all…

So to all the folks out there who can't stand their jobs, their bosses, their relationships, their lack of activity, health habits, way of eating, way of leisure, the place where they live and activities in which they participate….PLEASE go out and kick over your comfort zone barriers, get disengaged from the toxic stuff round and ENGAGE in what gives you life, energy, smiles and a sense of appreciation and gratefulness about life itself.
Trust me, we won't leave this world alive, why not COME ALIVE now? The world needs people that come alive.
Don't Ever Give up on the Passion in your Life!

Grow your Wisdom in Respecting the "Other"

Christmas Eve 2015, here in Israel, in the Arab town of Tira, in the Triangle area just about 20 minutes from my house.
Our Jewish-Arab Friendship and Cultural Exchange group, with nearly 30 participants proves time and again that in the midst of all the background violence, racism, fear and hate there is always room for another way to approach things.
We have been together for nearly two years now, not only discussing topics around "the situation" here in Israel, but open, sincere and empowering dialogue about each other, our careers, families, our concerns in our daily lives, among others. 

I, along with my co-organizer and friend Dr. Yosef Bishara, an impressive human being and educator who not only talks about his belief in coexistence between Jews and Arabs in Israel but also "walks his talk".
I facilitate the group's activities and always find that there is a deepening of a type of wisdom that comes when one really listens to "the other", far away from the incessant media reporting of violence and terror.
Terrorists look to instill fear by their treacherous acts and with terror there is really no other way to deal other than a "firm stick", but that should never stop the "humane route" to reach out to connect to "the other" on a human basis.
It seems very straightforward but it's not! It has always amazed me just how many people never get out of this box, this paradigm that sees life as white or black, turning their backs, minds and hearts on the opportunity to grow and forge ties with those who are unlike them. Where we live this is a very dangerous path to trod!

The year 2016 is already with us, I extend to all my friends in this group and outside of it a blessing and wish that we may we continue to "grow ourselves" and our wisdom in learning from, respecting, appreciating and growing our friendship for many days to come!

The "Thing" and the Interpretation of the "Thing"

Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations. ~ Alfred Adler

Let's face it- life throws all of us curveballs, we are constantly facing situations that change on us, people who act in unexpected ways and reality that does not go according to what we had planned and designed.
It does not matter if we are talking about a business situation or a family situation or the "man/driver on the street".
We don't have the slightest bit of an idea what will happen one second from now, what thought will be in our brain, what sound we will hear and who will be the next person or system to send us a text or facebook message.
Not the kind of playing field we human control freaks would like nor the type we are trained and programmed to accept.

However…..we ALWAYS have the last call.
We always have the ability to give meaning to things that happen to us, to the situations that occur around us and to the ATTITUDE we bring to things.
Alfred Adler said pretty much the same thing you might have heard from many other teachers, philosophers, psychologists or religious thinkers.
In the end it is much more important how we interpret the "thing" than the actual "thing" itself.

Aikido- after so many years

It's amazing to me- 25 years after I stopped doing Aikido on the mats, 29 years after I was doing it intensively in Japan, I went to an Aikido celebration in nearby Kfar Saba and.... felt as if I had never left! 

Something about the art of aikido, the movement, the spirit, the things that went so deep for those few years in Japan have never left me perhaps... so much so that I even flirted with the idea of a "comeback"- something that I won't do. 

Life has moved on to new and different paths. Apparently learning is like that- one builds one layer after another, one experience builds the other. 

The spirit of Aikido- collaboration, non-violence, working with others and not against, becoming centered and strongly rooted- resonate today as it did 30 years ago!

To take life is to lose life

I am sick to the stomach with the violence that is surrounding us day in day out, how difficult it is to think about coaching and meeting goals when innocent people are being knived, maimed and killed by one terrorist after another. 
There is something about the act of taking a knife and sticking it into another human being's body that totally dumfounds and disgusts me. 
All politics, opinions, religion and who is causing what and when aside, this very act is a terrible, terrible thing.

As I see and feel, the minute one takes another's life, and not in the act of self-defense, one is also losing one's own life. 
To take life is to lose life, and the reverberations go far, wide and deep. How pitiful and sad…

My colleague and friend, Naftali Arbel, a man well past the age of 80, author, poet, teacher, man of the book and culture wrote the following. 
Naftali is "salt of the earth", born and raised in Israel, fought in the War of Independence and is a member of our group of Jews and Arabs who meet monthly to forge bonds, relationships, learning and discussion. 
The poem, translated from the Hebrew, moved me greatly.

What are we worth in the end if there is no love and no chance to develop that love of life…
----------------
The mother of life
Don’t let him hate
Don’t destroy his heart
Don’t make him miserable
From birth to eternity
Because one who hates is a walking dead
Don’t lead him to die
He was enabled by God
To live and create
And to shine light in his heart where the dark may lie.

Hearts bring light to where lies the darkness of the world
Not for binding he was born
But to freedom he was born
Isaac or Ishmael, both
are brothers –  of their great Father

Don’t slander him with your poisoned tongue – let him live
Teach him to love
To know only good
Happy as a child
Enlightening others as a grown up

Love brings life to man
Never darken his sky
Allow him to live with happiness in his life
He was born with full rights to live, laugh and to love 

Love is the mother of all living things

"I love" means - "I am alive"